Thursday, January 21, 2010

bear attack!

we've all been there..

you're walking around in the forest
there's a nice babbling brook or some scenic mountains
you walk by some ferns or something

there are some chipmunks running around
look how cute and fast they are

then.. out from behind a tree
a bear and her cubs....


don't panic!

this is the proven way to get the fuck out of this mess

wait till bear gets close enough to chop your head off with those massive claws..

at the last moment, bust out your nail clippers (never go on a hike without them)
clip one of the bear's nails down a little too far into that forbidden pain zone

you know how much it sucks to cut your nails too close... it hurts!
it can also save your life! use this information against the bear

you will get out alive

if all else fails, play dead

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