we've all been there..
you're walking around in the forest
there's a nice babbling brook or some scenic mountains
you walk by some ferns or something
there are some chipmunks running around
look how cute and fast they are
then.. out from behind a tree
a bear and her cubs....
this is the proven way to get the fuck out of this mess
wait till bear gets close enough to chop your head off with those massive claws..
at the last moment, bust out your nail clippers (never go on a hike without them)
clip one of the bear's nails down a little too far into that forbidden pain zone
you know how much it sucks to cut your nails too close... it hurts!
it can also save your life! use this information against the bear
you will get out alive
if all else fails, play dead