Sunday, January 31, 2010

Saturday, January 30, 2010

the new "old"

people are always complaining about how much things cost

especially old people

it's always "I remember when you could by a candy bar for a penny"

I'm tired of it!
It's old and BORING!

I started this new thing
flip it and talk about how inexpensive things are now

"this candy bar is only a dollar!!!! WOW!! I remember when one single candy bar costed $25 dollars.. everything is so cheap now, I'm buying 25 of these!! hell YEAH!!"

it's so much more fun to do
try it in a convenience store
watch how everyone gets a little weirded out by it

that's the stuff I love in life!!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Retrofit Home solo show

I'll repost this when it gets closer

I am fucking excited!

ART FARM 3 (this Saturday)

this show is going to be a fucking blast!

Ryan "Henry" Ward
Guy P. Merrill
Steeb Russell

HELLS YES!! I cannot wait!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Narwhales are a lot like cats

I was talking to a couple of buddies of mine today about how great it would be if there were rivers of fire.

The rivers would be filled with Narwhales that spit hot blood and have a taste for human flesh.

These Narwhales can get out of their liquid fire paradise and come on land... so you are not safe ANYWHERE!

They'd love more than anything to bite your damn foot off, scarf it down like an appetizer then "play" with you, just like a cat and it's prey.

Narwhales will be Narwhales...

I'm the only one that thought it would be fun.

(check out the drawing, I definitely think it is one of the worst drawings I have ever done... I LOVE IT!!)

some screens just don't make it

I tried to reclaim this screen about 2 weeks ago..

I scrubbed it down with a liquid screen cleaner to get it back to brand-new again.


I used regular liquid soap on it and washed and scrubbed at it for about 3 days...
then it just sat propped up in my shower

I've been taking showers with this screen for 2 weeks now

I finally picked it up to move it, I figured having something wood like that laying in water was a bad idea.
The screen was completely loose. Clean but loose and useless now.


I took it, tore the screen off, then stretched a canvas on the frame.

fucked up old screen=spanking brand new stretched canvas

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunday morning

*woke up laughing again this morning

*said a ton of "thank you's" for another brand new day

*ran about 2 and a half miles to kill the mini-hangover headache
from the incredible party sesh in Tacoma last night.
(hung out with an amazing old friend that I haven't seen in about 4 years and got to hear about all her crazy adventures and got to hang out with one of my favorite people on the planet, my brother-in-law Jimmy).
I had a fucking blast!!

*drank some coffee in the shower without the light on
(I take showers without the light on and meditate in there, I love it)

*I feel great today and I get to hang out with an incredibly gorgeous woman all day today

WOW! what a good fucking day


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Vancouver, Canada/Jerm IX

This is the work of the incredibly prolific Jerm IX
He has an incredible vision and the motivation, it's unstoppable!
I love it!

I'm incredibly thankful that our paths crossed and super stoked to be included in these paste up combos in Vancouver

Jerm IX has so much amazing work

check it out here:
Jerm IX


Jerm IX
Biafra Inc.
Len Cowgill

Thursday, January 21, 2010


I've been on a weird, full-blown laugh marathon lately

each morning for the last three days
I've woke up laughing

then I'm laughing all day about everything

I love it

bear attack!

we've all been there..

you're walking around in the forest
there's a nice babbling brook or some scenic mountains
you walk by some ferns or something

there are some chipmunks running around
look how cute and fast they are

then.. out from behind a tree
a bear and her cubs....


don't panic!

this is the proven way to get the fuck out of this mess

wait till bear gets close enough to chop your head off with those massive claws..

at the last moment, bust out your nail clippers (never go on a hike without them)
clip one of the bear's nails down a little too far into that forbidden pain zone

you know how much it sucks to cut your nails too close... it hurts!
it can also save your life! use this information against the bear

you will get out alive

if all else fails, play dead

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I vow to

* have fun every minute of the day

* always look on the bright side

* concentrate on the all the good, not the bad
(you get more of what you concentrate on)

* pet more dogs

reality show

I've had this idea for a reality show for a couple weeks now.

I've always thought it would be really funny to get a wild animal inside a office building and watch how much destruction it can leave in its wake.

I would take place in a big house, preferably a multi-storied house

This show would consist of one human being and one wild raccoon living together under one roof.
How long is it going to take before the raccoon warms up to the person.

I'm talking wild raccoon, not a Hollywood animal.

I want to go out with a burlap bag and physically catch a raccoon and get him in the house.

The person living in the house will have a bathroom and a bedroom that locks from the inside, so they will have "safe rooms".

This show is going to be a ratings juggernaut, how could it not be?

The raccoon is definitely going to destroy the house in the first couple hours.

Think of how funny it would be to see the person wake up each morning and try to go take a shower, or coming home from work and slowly opening the front door.. the person would have no idea where the raccoon is in the house at the time.

This show has to happen
It's going to be incredible

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

don't make this drink... trust me

Years ago, I worked at Starbucks

sometimes when we got bored, we'd invent different drinks
I'm sure it happens at every coffee shop

My buddy Ryan invented this delicious drink called "the french toast"
mmmmmmm... so GOOD!!

I ended up inventing a drink called "the hot dog"

here we go!

The Hot Dog (ingredients)

*short size, whole milk latte
*one pump of Valencia syrup

not so complicated.. right?
it tastes just like a hot dog

this was back when shots were pulled, not the push button shots of coffee that exist now at Starbucks....I don't know if that affects the flavor profile

do yourself a favor... never make this drink

Monday, January 18, 2010

dinner with the squirrels

I used to live in this second floor apartment that had a small porch that faced a wooded area.
I was doing a lot of spray paint stencils on canvas at the time, I would paint them out on the porch.

Every time I was out there painting, I'd throw a handful of peanuts out to the squirrels.
(the peanuts were unsalted, shelled peanuts.. I didn't want them to get high blood pressure)

I would paint and drink beer while these cute little rodents chowed down on the food stuffs.

The squirrels started equating the sound and smell of the spray paint with the peanuts.

I would go out and paint and they'd come running out of the woods every time.

It got to the point that I would just go out on the deck, throw them some peanuts and while they were eating theirs.. I would be eating some too. I'd hang out there drinking beer and eating peanuts.

People would ask me "what are you up to tonight?"

I'd always respond "having dinner with the squirrels"

That was such a fun time.
I love those cute, gray little munchkins

I miss having dinner with them

Georgetown Art Center show

here's how we picked out the painting to put in the show
put them up against my car, that's how it's DONE!

the middle one is the one

the show is at Georgetown Art Center
on January 30th 2010

good times!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

24 new season TONIGHT!

The new season of "24" starts tonight!!

I make the journey over to my parent's house and watch every episode with my dad. It's an awesome event in my life and everyone gives me Hell that I can't hang out on Monday nights during the season .. and I LIKE IT!!

The 2-hour kickoff is tonight
with a 2-hour episode tomorrow night also...


the regular time is Monday nights
"just when you thought it was safe to..... "


Saturday, January 16, 2010

dead batteries stamped out

spanking brand new stuff coming up and I'm stoked about it!

I finally got rid of swine flu jr. enough to feel good enough to get out and run a couple miles this morning. I get super manic after a run... AKA endorphin-charged inspiration... AKA hyper giddy

I cut out this cute, little battery stamp this morning.
(with the exception of being a dead battery, he's damn cute)

here's some stuff that's coming
I'll elaborate on each thing when it gets closer

Saturday, January 30th
(two events, same night)

I'll have a piece in the Georgetown Art Center, I think it's during the Art Attack that happens in Georgetown... I'll know more soon. good times!

I'll also have a bunch of work in West Seattle at The Art Farm 3 event
I'm super excited about it, Narboo and "Henry" will be there also.
here's a link to it (it'll have to be copy and pasted because I suck)

The Art Farm 3
it's going to be super fun.

I have a piece in February's Artifakt event
I'll post pics soon, it's a love-themed painting
here's a link (it's painfully obvious that I can't make links)

facebook event
or at Artifakt's site...

also, Saturday, March 20th
I'll be giving a lecture at Cartoonists Northwest
meetup at Daniel Smith Artist Supplies
lots more on this to come
check out their website
cartoonists northwest
(I'm going to have copies of upcoming "burrito unicorn instruction guide" to give out at this event, plus a lot more.. stay tuned)

it's going to be awesome!!

(sorry about all the copy and pasting, I punished myself by punching myself right in the face if it makes you feel better)

yess!! the links are working, I took the punch in the face back and apologized to myself.

the hideout

mini drink and draw session at The Hideout on a Friday night

good times!

Friday, January 15, 2010

ARTIST TRUST 2010 benefit auction

I am very honored to have a piece in Artist Trust's benefit auction this year.

it will be held on Saturday, February 20th, 2010
curator tour at 5pm
festivities begin at 6pm
Fisher Pavilion, Seattle Center

tickets available here:
artist trust auction

(you'll have to copy and paste that link, I suck at the intermet)

YES! I fixed the link, good times!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


*microwaves brings some things back to life
(like old, cold pizza slices)

*robots are full of pure love and the fastest way to their heart is an oil change/tune-up combo.

*if you drink three cups of black coffee in a row fast, you can see ghosts and a full two seconds into the future.

*unicorns are real and they love to eat huckleberries.

*spiders are scary, they have eight legs and eight eyes.
(that's a lot of legs and eyes to keep track of)

*neon signs improve overall well-being.
(especially the signs in Vegas)

*most problems can be solved just by eating a cupcake.
(bigger problems sometimes require two cupcakes)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


My poor, little laptop has been forced to go hobo/nomadic/wandering/vision quest internet action for way too long now...

I finally got a warm, loving connection for it to call home and he loves it!

He's got a brand new router friend and a wireless signal
good times!

It feels good to be alive!
(and to be addicted to the internet)


Sunday, January 10, 2010

print mission

print it up!!!

OH!! 2010!!


Brynk made this collage box for one of the kids she looks after.
I was super flattered that she threw some penguins on it.

good times!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

SWINE FLU JR.!!!! go away...please

my posts have diminished by 100%...

I blame swine flu jr. for it

I've been battling this virus for over a week now..

c'mon virus.. GIT OUTTA HERE!!!!

tired of it!!

I have lots of stuff to post

I've been too weak to type and I lost my intern, my agent, lawyer, manager, and stunt double due to the economic downturn...
So now, I have to do these posts by myself... it's going to be rough, but I can do it!

good stuff coming next week, I promise

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

bananas+cold temperature=do not mix!

I bought a couple of bushels of gorgeous bananas last week

they were breathtaking, all done up in a glorious yellow with a very slight newly picked green attached to them

these bananas were phenomenal... I felt so lucky to have them
they were smoking hot and they knew it

I got them home

then for some reason I put them in the refrigerator

the next day I went to grab one and was completely heartbroken at the sad destiny that had washed over me prized bananas...

they had aged ten times faster than if they were out on the counter!
these poor, helpless bananas went from their prime to geriatric in just 8 short hours!!

refrigerators are like a deadly time-machine for bananas

I feel like a criminal
this is going to be a hard one to live with

Monday, January 4, 2010


progress on a painting for February's Artifakt show
the theme is love