Dear UPS

you know that MP3 player that you attempted
to deliver a week and a half ago now..
and haven't made an attempt since.

go ahead and keep it
I don't want it anymore

you're supposed to attempt 3 times...
well not this time
one time is all I got.
thanks a lot

you guys have had your grubby paws
all over that MP3 player for 12 days now.
fuck it!
I don't want that thing anymore
it's not worth the headache

I already bought another one that
wasn't compatible with the software I have..
I'm sure for one reason or another
.. the one that you're holding hostage
wouldn't be compatible either, waste of time..
that's been my luck lately with electronics

but, as far as you guys never delivering it
you can fuck the fuck off
you fucking fucks!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, YOU FUCKING DICKS!!


the next time I get a package that needs
to get delivered to you, you UPS bastards
I'm keeping it

an eye for an eye baby!!!

HA!!
you started a delivery war!!
I love it!

..you started it, I'm gonna finish it!

(I don't have the means to deliver to you,
but who cares? that's beside the point...
I'm keeping any packages addressed to UPS
from now on.. you started this war)