life and living

what a strange weekend

some actions and conversations really got me down this weekend
and at the same time I really appreciate it..
I feel more defined in my head about what I am and what I do

I felt kind of sick to my stomach about some of it

instead of dwelling on all the outside views and actions
I feel more compelled to write something about how I see things

I talk to artists all the time that want all these big things
making a living off of their work, lots of money, fame
AKA things they don't have

I see it in action and something gets lost
I just really realized today... I don't want any of that shit
I don't want it and I don't need it
I have everything that I want
I have everything that I need

I make artwork because my mind, body,
and spirit begs me to make it
I'm helpless to it and I love it
I pour everything that I am into it and that will never change
I'm hopelessly addicted to creating things
it's a habit
it's my life
I can't live without it

the only times I've ever been bummed on it is when I've lost sight
when I've attached the weight of hollow things on my head
things that don't exist

everyone has their own path
this isn't a judgement of others
I wish everyone the best in getting what they want
I understand that everyone has their own motivations for things
this are just thoughts in my little world
my opinion
and my opinion isn't a big deal

I love where I am at now, with my little stuff
I don't want any more than what I have
I have too much as it is anyway
I don't want anything

I will keep doing what I do with all my heart
and keep it as raw and pure as I possibly can