memory foam is not of this world, it cannot be reasoned with

I have a serious crush on memory foam.

Memory foam is created in a secret factory underneath Trump Tower. It is created by a group of highly classified wizards that transcend any government that we know on this planet. They summon extraterrestrial biological entities from around the universe . Once gathered, they use their various forms of intelligence, telepathy, time travel and good old fashioned magic to create what we call memory foam.
Someday, the memory foam will turn on us and destroy humanity as we know it.. it will be a fate better than life.
Until then, I will feel better than I ever have waking up in the morning. I know the memory foam is stealing my soul.. but, I don't care.. I'm addicted.